Hey fellow parents…this one is for you.
Coach Evan here again, and I’m writing from two perspectives today, as a Ninja coach and as a parent of 3 kids who are in Ninja classes.
First, let me talk to you from my coach’s perspective and give you a little behind-the-scenes look at our programs. I hope you all know that we start every class with a short lesson for the kids. These range from focusing on our values (e.g. Willing 2 Be Brave) to more practical (e.g. Setting Goals). We try to help the kids see the connection to growth as a Ninja, but also the usefulness of these lessons in everyday life.
One of the key statements that makes its way into several of the lessons, but particularly when we talk about being Willing 2 Face Failure, is the idea of adding the very small but very powerful word “yet” to the end of the sentence “I can’t do it”.
I’m sure you can see the massive shift in attitude that takes place between “I can’t do it” and “I can’t do it…yet”.
As coaches, we hear kids say “I can’t do it” fairly often (it wouldn’t be much of a Ninja class if the kids could do everything easily right away, now would it!?) and we try to be quick to add “yet” out loud for them. I’ve seen kids catch themselves too, usually giving me a quick grin, and then adding it before I have the chance to.
Now if I can put on my parent hat and add an honest note…I think it really sticks!
The other day I was observing my 4 year old as he jumped around the house, using couches and a coffee table as another homemade Ninja course (a fairly regular occurrence in our household these days). He was trying to make a particularly brave leap and kept falling short. But the words out of his mouth every time… “I can’t do it yet daddy…I can’t do it yet”.
And he kept trying. I don’t think he ever made the jump…at least this time around. And that’s okay.
It hasn’t just been my 4 year old either. I have observed each one of my boys get to the point where it is basically automatic for them to add “yet” when they can’t do something. Of course they still need reminders sometimes, as we all do.
I hope that you’ve observed the same with your kids. If not, I’d encourage you to watch for that sentence coming out of their mouths and add “yet” for them if it isn’t there already.
Maybe it would help us as adults in our own internal dialogue as well.
Failure, with the right attitude, isn’t a conclusion. It’s just a step towards success. It’s a lesson in what not to do, or a reminder that we aren’t quite there…yet.
